Monday 16 February 2015

Valentine's Day...!!

.... And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us....

Keith urban's famous love song was playing melodiously in the background.
It was the day before Valentine's day and all the radio stations were soon catching up on the mood. People from all over were calling in and requesting the RJ's to play their song, whom they wanted to dedicate it to their loved ones.

Priya was standing in her 18th floor sea facing balcony gazing at the vast sea expanse and the setting sun deep into her thoughts and almost oblivious of all the songs that were being played on the radio.

She was thinking of Abhi, her boyfriend since 3 years, and thinking of those happy moments that they had shared toghether. Life at that point of time almost looked like a fairytale to her. Abhi meant everything to her. Vivid memories of the time spent with Abhi were running through her mind.She remembered how he had proposed her in College Canteen in front of all their friends. Abhi, almost impromptu in front of everyone stood on the table singing on top of his voice.

                                                O Priya O Priya Priya,
                                                tumsa nahin koi priya
                                                tu khush rahen
                                                jahan bhi rahen
                                                jahan bhi rahen
                                                ye mere dil ki dua


It was quite a sight there, Everyone in the Class thought of Abhi as a Shy, a bit introvert kind of person. It was not that they all didn't know if there was something going on between him and Priya, but Proposing this way and that too from Abhi was quite a surprise or more of a Shock one could say.
The usual cacophony of the canteen actually turned into an atmosphere so silent, One could even actually hear Rohan, their fatso  friend chewing. Rohan was sitting next to Abhi when all this started, and was looking at him, his mouth wide open and the half chewed noodles clearly visible inside it.

Abhi by now,deep into his singing with his eyes closed and his face towards priya who was sitting with her friends two tables away from him.No matter how serious he tried to look while singing, but Kumar sanu would have died a thousand deaths had he heard him sing that day. And finally it ended. There was almost a 5 seconds silence. Perhaps it was quite an extraordinary sight and thus required some time to sink in.

And then everyone bursted out laughing. Priya on the other hand had mixed feelings. She couldn't understand if she had to looked surprised, annoyed, or embarrassed or should have had ran away from that scene. Whatever it was, it just made her sit there in disbelief.
Finally Abhi unfazed by all the people laughing at him, walked towards Priya and said...

                               Roses and Chocolates are Passe...my dear
                               All the worldly and materialistic things in this world cannot be compared with how much i love you.
                               I don't care for these people laughing at me, All i know is that i love u so much that they all as of now are almost invisible to me, for i can see only u.

                                To, the only girl, that i have ever loved
                                I kneel before u to say that I Love you, I Love you, I Love you.

Priya's girlfriends who were sitting besides her, emotionally drenched nudged her with her elbows to at least say something. She too had become emotional by now and then when she finally regained her normal self simply gave Abhi a deep smile, stood up and walked off.
Of all the years that Abhi had known Priya, he was at least 90 percent sure that her smile actually meant a yes, but then when something as serious as this comes up one can never be sure. And then Priya always had this habit of keeping People guessing if it was affirmative or negative. Time passed and slowly their bond became more strong. 4 years of engineering passed and now it was placement time, Abhi got Placed in an IT company in Bangalore and Priya here in Mumbai itself. He never wanted to leave priya but it was her who wanted him to go as it was a big MNC and a stint there meant that any big company here would hire him and that too with a good salary hike. Actually it was more of a preparedness for the future and that is why she had forced him to join the company in Bangalore. A better pay meant a smooth life together at least considering the financial point of view. She was thinking of her entire life with Abhi. She was thinking of marriage.

Talking with Abhi in Person almost everyday now changed to Speaking to him over phone or through Skype. Thanks to all these new communicating sites and social networking sites, keeping in touch with your loved ones frequently was still very possible. Hectic Life in an IT company, work pressure and trying to meet unachievable deadlines slowly started taking toll on their bonding. Mushy calls and discussing their personal lives turned into constant bickering and fighting as Priya always complained that he was not giving her enough time as before. Abhi knew that he was guilty but could'nt comprehend as to what required more time his professional or personal life. Weeks used to pass and they never spoke with each other. Even if one would initiate the call, it always ended up in both of them fighting and ending the call abruptly. Thoughts started emanating in Priya's mind if there was actually a future for both of them toghether. It was during one of these fights that Abhi in a fit of rage shouted at Priya that she was his life's biggest mistake that he would want to end this now forever and would never want to talk to her ever. Priya couldn't believe what she just heard but then she was never the one to bow down or to try to get back things back to normal. Fine !!! is all she said and banged the phone on him.
It's not that it never mattered to her, it was as if without Abhi she was a lifeless soul. But she did not wanted to be the one asking for forgiveness or to be the one with a sorry face as she knew it was more of Abhi at fault. Abhi tried calling her at several occasions but she never answered his calls. 4 Months 3 and half days passed since that last call with Abhi. She missed him so much that she actually knew the exact no. of days that she hadn't spoken with him. She missed him Badly as if with each passing day life was slowly oozing out of her body.

It was dark now and deep into her thoughts with tears in her eyes, she had'nt realized what time it was . Out of those thoughts from the past she realized that there was a vibrating sound in the background. She found that it was her phone ringing. Wiping off her tears she walked towards the adjoining room and picked up her cell phone.

                                                                      23 Missed Calls !!

Someone had been calling her frantically, She checked her phone Logs and found out that it was Abhi. Why now ? What was he thinking ?
If celebrating Valentine's day with her was his idea behind those calls and then he better be sane enough to think this way. It's all over Mr. Workahollic. Get on with your life and let me get on with mine. She was trying to show that she was strong more to herself than to him. Deep inside her she was dying to talk with him. Abhi Called her up again, and with a little hesitation she finally answered his call.

What is it ??
Hi Priya, How are you ?
Iam fine, enjoying Life (She did'nt ask how he was, lest he said the same thing she would have killed herself. How could he enjoy when she was actually dying inside).

Silence....

I miss you my love
Priya was dying to say that she missed him too and very badly. But her inner strong Priya took over her and she just said Hmmm...

I want to meet you.
Sorry, But if i Remember it was you who had said that you would never want to talk with me ever.
Taking back your words Mr. macho...Huh ??

Please Priya just once, I promise that i'll be out of your life after this. Just once
Priya could sense that he was actually very serious as his voice sounded a bit shaken, She knew that he was crying on the other side.
Please just this last time...Please

Silence....

Ok
Thanks a lot dear...Thank you
I'll be there at your place tomorrow at 10 sharp. Want to take you out for a ride and then we'll have Lunch.
Ok
Thanks, see you tomorrow and he hung up.

Priya was thinking what was it now with him. But anyways as he said it was just this last time.
She had her dinner early and then went to sleep. Sleep or Trying to sleep was what she was actually doing. She woke up at 5.00 in the morning and for some reason did not want the night to get over. Why is he doing all this now. Why cant he just let me be. I can take care of myself and have my own life and he is no longer a part of it. Random thoughts passing by in her mind...
She was ready by 8.00 and waiting by for him to come.
Sharp at 10.00 her phone rang and she knew it was him. She answered the call
Hi, Good Morning
I'am waiting down, are you ready ?
Yes, will be there in 5 Minutes

Priya took a deep breath, a sense of anxiety took over her. She asked herself one last time if she actually wanted to this. She thought of making some excuse and cancel the meeting.
2 Minutes later she was standing near the elevator.
She came down and there he was standing near his car, Dressed rather simply in a white shirt and blue denims, it seemed that he hadn't changed at all.

Hi, Iam so glad to see you Priya. cant express my feelings now after seeing you. He tried to touch her but she moved back.
You said that you are going to take me somewhere. I have to be back home, I have some appointments for the day.

Ohh ya, I just went blank for some time. Come..
They both sat in the Car. Priya didn't ask him where he was taking her.
Abhi tried to strike a conversation with her but whenever he used to ask her anything she would only reply in monosyllables.
It seemed as if she was answering a one word answer questionnaire. It was almost 20 minutes that they were driving and it seemed obvious to Priya that it was someplace outskirts of the city that Abhi was taking her. If she knew him well, Abhi was the kind of a person whom one would find hard to understand. One moment he would be silent and appear so serious and the very next moment he would be jumping here and there like a 5 year old kid. She remembered that how once when she was bored of the Canteen food, Abhi drove her almost 32 kms outside the city to famous Punjabi dhaba on the highway. Needless to say the food there was divine. So on that thought, she contemplated that if he has thought of something he would do it no matter how outrageous it would seem

Driving for almost 30 mins.they took a sharp left turn and there was a signboard that read "SHARDASHRAM OLD AGE HOME". Priya was surprised as to what was going on in Abhi's mind.He stopped the Car at the gate quickly coming out of the car and opened the door for priya. Thank you and a curt smile was how she reciprocated. They both walked inside the gate. Priya could see that the pavement was beautifully lined up with all sorts of flowers planted on both sides. It was quite a soothing site as nowadays one hardly finds any greenery in cities let alone find such beautiful flowers being planted anywhere.They both walked inside the incharge's room. There they found Mrs. Reddy sitting and engrossed in file work. The name plate read Miss Smita Reddy. Abhi greeted her with a Hello and she at once recognised her and said... Oh How are you Abhi ? Where have you been. Its been a long time that we have met. Abhi smiled broadly and said, Oh yes mam, its been some time that i had come here, As you know that i have shifted to Bangalore now and hence i don't frequent Mumbai that much.Priya Could see them conversing and she could gauge that Abhi used to come here often.

Well i have just come here to meet all my old friends...and ohh by the way this is Priya my very close friend whom i wanted you to meet. I just thought of bringing her along with me.
Hi Priya, So good to see you
Likewise Mam.
Abhi as you know the meeting time is from 11.00 to 12.00, So you might have to wait for some time or should i suggest you can even show Priya around.
Ya, that's sounds a good idea.
Ok then, I'll take your leave
Miss Reddy smiled and left.

Abhi escorted Priya towards the lawn and they were walking slowly when Priya broke the silence.
I did'nt know that you used to come here. I think that explains the reason as to why at times you suddenly used to disappear from college.
Ya, I have been coming here since our College days as there was a friend of mine who lost his life in an accident. He was the only child of his Parents, after his death there was no one to take care of his parents and hence they shifted here some time back. I have been coming here to meet them and my other good old friends ever since.
that's  kind of you.
It was 11.00 by now, and all the residents started coming out in the Lawns. Abhi knew most of them and Priya could see him smiling and waiving back at them.The Usual Calm that prevailed till now was turned into noises of people laughing and chit chatting with each other. Priya was just looking at the couples and thinking how happy they all were. Laughing and listening to each other. Some were playing Chess, others could be seen playing Badminton even though their shots were wayward but enjoying nevertheless.
Priya thought, how happy she was during courting period with Abhi. She had thought that she would get married to him some day and have a blissfull life thereafter. All that seemed a far fetched dream now. Abhi while taking a stroll with her in the garden and did observe that there was something Priya was sad about. It did'nt take him long to judge as to what it was. He tried again to strike a conversation with Priya, and with casual How has it been, What have you been doing sorts of questions it was Silence again from Priya.Abhi asked her if she would like to sit for a while, She nodded in affirmative.

Do you see that Couple ?. Abhi Pointed towards an elderly couple. It seemed as if there were Husband and Wife. The female sitting on a wheelchair and her husband slowly pushing the wheelchair strolling though the Lawn area. They are Mr. and Mrs Nair. Mrs Nair had lost her legs in a car accident and Mr. Nair had been taking care of her ever since. Priya could see that Mr. Nair had been saying something animatedly with his hands going up and down and Mrs Nair laughing along. You know what Priya, I have been coming here since 2 years and everytime i have seen this couple, they have always appeared happy as ever. Priya observed carefully, Mrs nair appeared to be in her sixteys, her skin a bit worn out and wrinkled , her shoulder's drooped a bit, clearly meant that she had seen a lot of life's hardships, but nevertheless there was a strikening charm on her face, one who was more happy than sad of her life. One who was content of her life. There was a slight breeze and every time it would blow on Mrs. Nair face, it would push a some strands of her hair onto her face. and mr. Nair carefully and talking to her at the same time. putting it back behind her ear. Priya was watching all this with a slight smile on her face. Abhi was happy to see Priya smile, even if he was not the reason for it.

Priya sighed and finally spoke up. So happy to see that couple, I really doubted if relationships like these really existed. I really didn't knew what exactly people meant by the term marital bliss, but i'am sure that it couldn't be any different from this couple.

I dont know where we went wrong, Abhi Spoke but i really want to make it up you.
It's not about making up Abhi, You have to understand that if a long term relationship or marriage is what you are looking at then you have to strike a balance between your professional and personal life. Its not that one bad day you just call up and say everything is over and then after some days you meet the person you loved once and expect everything to get back to normal...It does'nt work that way Abhi.
Priya's voice was trembling and tears trickling down her eyes.
I'am sorry Priya if i made you feel that way, but those 4 months that i was away from you made me realize your importance in my life. They say that you never realize the value of something until you lose it. and i priya would never want to lose you.
All i want to say is that i'am not perfect, neither are you and life isn't perfect either. but if i would ever want anyone to help me move over and gain over my imperfections, i'd want it to be you.If this lovely couple and all the others here can make their relationship last, then i think even we too can.some times its important to loose someone to make you realize their importance in your life.And i have learnt my love ,what you mean to me. I promise to be by your side always, to take care of you through thick and thin I promise to take care of you, even when you are as frail as Mrs nair and when your face is as wrinkled as hers. Trust me Priya i would still love you even when you loose all the teeths, Priya though teary eyed giggled for a moment. I have got this one life dear and i want it to be special and that could only be possible if you are by side coz i want to grow old with you.

With this Abhi went down on his knees and took out a small red colored Ring box, opened it gently and forwarded it towards Priya. She was surprised like hell and certainly wasn't expecting such a moment today.She couldn't hold back her tears any longer

                        My Love, this life means nothing to me if you are not a part it
                         If there was any one person, whom i have loved so much or will ever love, then that's you.
                         I've known now what a companion is and i would want you to be mine for the entire life,
                         It's the day of love and I Abhi, this lowly soul would like to propose marriage to you.
                         Would you be my valentine for life ?

Priya all emotionally drained, tears flowing down her eyes, her voice all choked up and immensely elated from inside could only muster enough courage to say "Do you still need an answer " ?

Abhi, by now his Knees hurting badly, got up, his eyes swelled up, got up and hugged Priya tightly. With both of them crying Priya reciprocated and hugged Abhi even tighter.Abhi this time was sure that Whatever Priya had said it surely meant a... "yes".

Sunday 1 February 2015

Being An Armed Forces Personnel's Son..




Well, its just been a few days that our Republic day has gone by...and since i being a defence personnel's kid, every year its almost as a ritual that we all in the family on this day would get up early ,done with all our morning chores and couched comfortably on the sofa, bean bags or chairs in front of the TV as early as 7.00 in the morning waiting for the Republic day Parade to get started. My Dad an Ex Indian Navy Officer, would take pride on guiding us and telling us about all the Marching Contingents and telling us the stories of those regiments, the medals that they had won and their acts of bravery and valor.

Looking at the Parade on this day, I had always had this feeling where the normal Janta i feel takes it lightly or for that matter is basically oblivious of what is the life of a soldier, their day to day routine and of course their family life. Its this thought that actually made me write this post.

My Dad, had joined Indian Navy quite early when he was hardly even 18 and continued serving the nation till he was 52. He had his first Posting in Mumbai. My mom back then, newly married had just joined him and at that time Mumbai was called Bombay and for all the people living in Villages used to call it Bombai nagri in a sense of awe. She too had played an immense role in bringing us up, getting us educated and making us whatever we are today. Being in the Navy and especially when you are deployed on a ship means that you are actually sailing almost 6 to 8 months in a year or in case if the ship is being commissioned from another country meant that you had to be there an entire year or even more than that. Given the technical Prowess and the scientific advancements that our country has made now, most of the warships now are made in India itself. But back then these warships had to be procured from other Country and most of the times it was Russia, UK and the US. Dad of his 34 years of service had been on a ship for more than 18 years, where these ships were being sent for good will visits to other Country with whom India shared a good rapport. I remember those days when Dad used to come after a long stint and the moment he was home i used to hug him tightly and he would embrace me with equal fervor.
There was a Unique fresh smell that use to come from his clothes whenever he was back from the ship, and that he use to tell me was of the freshener that was used along with the air that was circulated inside the ship. I just loved that smell and would just sit close to  him so that i used to get of whiff of it. He used to teach me different foreign words and tell us its meaning and of all the different Tasks, exercises (in the navy a joint Operation is basically called an Exercise) that they had done while he was on the ship. Me and my brother used to keep asking him till late at night if he he happened to see a whale, Particularly a Blue whale :P, dolphins and all....and he used to tell us every thing, and then mom would scold us to go to sleep lest we miss our school the next day. Move over watching Sindbad the sailor on the TV or in the Cartoons, My Dad was my Sindbad back then who used to come home loaded with all his adventure stories. But there were days when i used to miss him a lot, I had my Tonsils operation when i was 7 or 8 and on the day that i had to get operated i was shifted to a big dormitory where there were all children's mostly my age. I could see every child along with their mom and dad besides them. My Mom sensed that i was actually missing Paa, hence was comforting me, and i at that point writhing with pain in my throat wanted just my dad at my side and he as usual was away in Russia on a Joint naval exercise. Slowly when we were mature enough we started understanding as to why he used to be away for so long, His experiences that he used to share with us moved over from Dolphins and Whales to the Naval exercises that they had conducted, why it was done, weaponry that those ships used to carry, their striking range and all. Being in the defence also means that you are always on the move and that the serving personnel along with their family most of the time are not there at a single location for more than 4 to 5 years. That meant that we had our schooling done in varied parts of India. Being posted every now and then to a new location and joining a new school every 4 to 5 years. I would say that its this shifting that makes us the defence kids strong emotionally...We knew joining a new school that these would just be our temporary friends and that we they too would shift to someother place soon or it could be us before them, but for those many years we used to foster such bonding and memories that would be etched in our minds so deeply that even today when i talk to my friends, its appears so fresh that it seems that it was just yesterday that we all had met.

At the same time, we being humans parting with our friends after long time spent together wasn't easy either. Promises and vows were taken to be in touch over the phone or through letters were taken. Some would get teary eyed too. Thanks to all the social networking sites that we have today, it has made us more easy for us to be in touch. Then off to a new location and with the hopes that life would unfold more surprises and we would find and make more new friends there.

Life in the Armed Forces is not easy for the person who is actually serving nor for their Family either. I see that for the people that do not belong to this community have always seen defence personnel being robust, Physically fit and to describe in today's lingo at their "macho" best but what actually defines this community more than being physically strong is actually their emotional toughness. Mind Over body is the mantra for these people and that holds true for their family too. The habits that they possess are very well inculcated into their family as well, Completion of any work on time, Discipline, Mannerism are somethings that come so naturally to their family members that it actually becomes a Part of Life. Its this habit that makes me come early to work every day, catch the same Local every day even if it means reaching my Office, almost half an hour early.Not boasting but i hardly remember my father teaching me all this but this almost came naturally to me watching him every day, That's how it was for me.

As the popular adage goes that "Once a Soldier, always a Soldier" holds true for a defence personnel even after he/she retires. I still see in my father that same rigor, enthusiasm, the discipline that he had when he was serving and as a small child who sees a superhero in his father, for me he still is and will remain a role a model forever. I hope that as an Armed forces personnel's son i continue to imbibe those values in me and may be even pass on these very values to the my siblings and to the next generation as well.
This i think could be a small tribute to those guarding our Country.

Proud to be a soldier's son...!!!

Jai Hind

Over and Out :)